Elvira Burgo

Below are Some Tips for Building Resilience and Self-Esteem

Children struggle to read for various reasons.  Learning impairments such as dyslexia may be a factor, along with other diagnoses.  It’s important as a parent to recognize the signs early on.  Sometimes, if we are lucky, teachers will see things we don’t.

Case in point.

My youngest child couldn’t pronounce certain letters correctly in kindergarten and was referred to a speech teacher.  It turned out that his speech problem was developmental, which meant he would outgrow it.  Sure enough, he did.  Had my son’s speech impediment been worse, without his teacher’s referral and speech intervention, it would have been a problem.  The same thing is true with other learning disabilities.  

Sometimes, parents may deny there is a problem.  Later, a child may not want to attend class because he or she is embarrassed.  Whatever the issue, it needs to be resolved.  THE TRUTH IS, THE PROBLEM WILL NOT GO AWAY.

The feeling of shame reminds me of this:  We need to build our children so that they grow up to be confident adults.  Here are some ways to build resilience and self-esteem in children.

HOW TO BUILD RESILIENCE

·  Teach your child to keep trying.  It’s one of the most important things I learned as a teacher.  As humans, we are stuck on results, and that’s fine.  However, what about effort?  What happens when one struggles and fails at something?  The child needs to know that it is okay to fail.  There’s something to be learned from it.    

·  Try to be less critical.  I know how difficult it is to hold back at times.  While an innocent comment, a child may perceive it differently.  Our words affect others and hurt more coming from parents.   

·  Create routines.  “Children need to do things in a similar way and at the same time, over and over, so they know what to expect.”  (Dana Suskind, a physician who studies early brain development)

WAYS TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM

·  Be a positive model.  I believe this is critical because our children mimic everything we do.  When I struggled with returning to school and leaving my child, someone I looked up to said, “it’s important for your child to see you studying.”  This reminds me of when I observed my sister and her friend meet for home study sessions.  Watching them made me want to go to college.  (Yes, I give my sister some credit).  I believe there were giggles… 

·  Modeling the right attitude.  Are you CHEERFULLY working on your tasks?  Or are you complaining or rushing through them?  We are teaching our children to do the same. 

·  Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. Is there anything going right with your child?  Remember how our brain is wired?  What positive traits does your child possess?  Sometimes we may overlook them.  

There’s no shame in knowing that a reading problem exists.  Learning difficulties can be corrected.  Recognizing the problem and seeking help is crucial.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  If you are struggling mentally with a child’s diagnosis, please seek help. 

I understand that our world has become competitive, and you may believe it will be difficult for a child with a disability to function in this world.  I get it.  (At least I’m trying to).  However, don’t beat yourself up.  Be kind to yourself and try to concentrate on the positive.  Your child is a gift, not to be compared. 

We are all special in different ways.  Can you imagine a world where we looked and acted the same way?    

Something to think about…

Have you struggled with a child’s diagnosis?  Are you getting the help you need?  

I hope you found this article useful.  

Thank you, 

Elvira