Funniest Dolly Parton Moments, Witty Responses, and Quotes.
In celebration of Dolly Parton’s Day on September 25, I’d like to share some of her funniest moments, witty responses, and quotes.
Hilarious Moments
Dr. Oz and Dolly Parton visited a children’s hospital, and as they approached patients, Dolly turned to a little girl and said, “Isn’t he cute?”
After Dolly moved to Hollywood, she feared getting caught on camera during an earthquake, so she kept her wig close by, washed her face, put on a little makeup, and slept. “I’m going to be ready to go,” she said.
A man thought Dolly was playing hard to get and wouldn’t leave her alone. Dolly drew her gun and said, “If you touch me one more time, I’m going to shoot you.” Dolly’s friend laughed, and the man thought it was a joke.
“I stay gone” was the reason Dolly gave for staying married for so long. Dolly explained that they weren't in each other’s face, nor were they in the same business telling each other how to run it.
The crowd cheered nonstop, and the host said, “I’m not going to have time to talk to you, Dolly.” Dolly looked at the crowd and said, “You better hush then.”
Dolly liked her cousin’s walking, talking doll so much that she wanted it. Too poor to have toys, her father felt bad. So, he called Dolly over and said, “We have something better than that. We have a real doll that cries and laughs and pees for real.”
Witty Responses
When someone asked Dolly if she had ever had plastic surgery, she laughed and replied: “Well yeah, I had my credit cards cut off once.”
Asked how often she saw her husband, Dolly said: “We’ve been married 48 years, and we’ve been together some three years.”
A person asked if she sang in the shower; Dolly answered, “No, but I don’t wash on stage either.
When people expressed how beautiful Dolly looked, she said, “Well, that’s Botox.”
Someone asked Dolly if she had ever had an out-of-body experience and if she believed in reincarnation; she responded with: “Lord, what I went through to get this body, I’m not leaving it for a minute.”
Whenever people asked how she stayed so young-looking, Dolly would say, “Well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.”
Funny Quotes
“I loved high heels before I knew I was going to be short.”
“I put on a little makeup when we go camping, enough not to scare my husband to death.”
“It cost a lot to look this cheap. That’s why I keep working.”
“I’m not offended by all the blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
“If I see something sagging, bagging, or dragging, I’m going to have it nipped, tucked, or sucked.”
“I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
“I’m not old, but I’ve been around a long time. I like to say I’m like a good wine---I get better with age, or at least I get more expensive.”
“Lord, they dig more rock stones out of me a year than the rock quarry in Rockwood, Tennessee.”
“My songs are like my children---I expect them to support me when I’m old.”
“I call myself the Dolly Lama because people are always asking for advice.”
“I’m a self-made woman, and I have the doctor’s bills to prove it.”
“When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!”
Dolly Parton was funny, and even people who didn’t listen to country music liked her and her songs. Thanks for celebrating Dolly Parton Day with me. Keep smiling.
Take care,
Elvira